Tiffany and Greg Around the World
OK so you finally figure out where the heck Uluru/Ayers rock is and you at long last secure some decent wheels to get you there…
…Then you dive for 6 HOURS until you see this
And you’re all –
But you’d be wrong
because once again Australia lied to us
One can only get pulled up the side of a mountain by a boat anchor tied to a bungee chord so many times before they start considering the alternatives to the dilemma of Australian Alpine ascent.
Continue reading “Into the White”
Today we cover two interesting and mostly unrelated facts.
1) Though literally miles from anywhere even slightly resembling civilization, Mt Kosciuszko is probably the only member of the 7 summits that has mobile phone reception.
Yep, up there. Best coverage in the area.
2) Greg’s self confidence most likely comes from his mother’s side of the family.
The last mountain we were on top of in the southern hemisphere had less cell phone coverage but more snarky commentary.
Greg and Tiffany are traveling around the world on sailing yachts and keep a video blog of their (mis)adventures. If sailing to Tahiti on a 44 ft sailboat, 3-day delays for wine tastings, getting pooped on by seagulls, opening coconuts with dull machetes, sailing past tornadoes and ukulele Christmas carols are for you, then check them out atwww.CoastGuardCouple.com!
Sure it’s not like it was freaking Everest or anything and yeah, it’s the smallest and kinda a part time member of the list but just for the record,
Jindabyne, NSW, AU
So why again did we (literally) take a crash course in boat anchors and bungee and their varied use in alpine ascents?
Well, do you have a snowboard video with a didgeridoo soundtrack? ‘Cause we do!
Continue reading “Snowboards and Didgeridoos”
Sydney is…
Well…
…Anti-climatic.
As long as you don’t mind the pressing need to bundle up in order to explore a land listed as “one of the closest to Antarctica” it’s sometimes hard to decide which is more magnificent, the countryside around Dunedin or the immaculate buildings in the city itself:
Fakarava, Tuamotu, French Polynesia
(…cont from previous post)
4) The pearl farm. This is the big business of the Tuamotu islands. Most of the “Tahitian pearls” people buy the world over are actually from the Tuamotu. You expect, with the price of pearls and all, for it to be some big production. Vaulted ceilings, caviar, some champagne perhaps? Classical music on the sound system? Heck, air conditioning? Nope. A shack, 4 guys, couple of planks of wood, some oysters and hell’s dentist’s office. To be fair, what the industry lacks ostentation, it make up for in patience:
If you’re a pearl fan at all (or at least have an appreciation for the fact that pearl necklaces are not cheap), check this out:
They leave bags of this stuff lying around. Open plastic bags chock full of Tahitian black pearls casually placed, completely unprotected, near open windows without even a screen to keep bugs out, much less people. Crime is not a huge concern here. With a population of about 1500 people it’s not like you don’t know you’re neighbor.
Oh wait, you say, perhaps a tourist could steal the pearls and sneak off the island? Not likely, as the only means of escape are rather…limited…in scope:
5) The airport
This airport has 1 flight per day, normally. Saturdays are the big day with a total of 2 flights. Most of the time the airfield is completely abandoned and totally wide open. You can just wander on in, no restricted areas here. At about an hour before the flight is supposed to arrive, a fire truck rolls in, soon followed by an unguarded fuel truck, ticketing agent and 2 baggage handlers. That’s it. No cops, no TSA, no security check points, no body scanners. Heck, no boarding areas. The gate agent? After the ticketing agent finishes selling tickets, they become the gate agent. Well, they become the stairway agent actually, because why would you need a gate for the one plane landing here today? There are some cops on the island (Gendarme, kinda like French colonial police) but they don’t show up for the flights. People get on, people get off. The plane grabs some gas and off it goes. The fire and gas trucks leave, soon followed by the airport’s massive 3 staff people. I think sometimes an extra car shows up to act like a taxi and sometimes the hotel will send a shuttle. Whole process takes about 2 hours. It’s all very anti-climatic.
We should point out that this island is the second largest in the entire 78 island Tuamotu chain. The second largest. Which is weirder, the nonchalant manner in which this airport operates or our American reaction to it?
6) And finally, let’s not forget the aforementioned bar:
You sailed from Mexico to French Polynesia for a margarita? You came all this way, on a boat, powered by wind, at about 7 MPH average speed, for at this point about 2 months of travelling, all this way to pay $15 for drink you could have gotten for 5 pesos back about 3,000+ miles ago? Really?
Cripes at least buy a Mai Tai or something…
Fakarava, Tuamotu, French Polynesia
Welcome to the main town in Fakarava. So what does one do here?
(aside from the diving, we’ve already established that’s amazing. Well, that and suicidal crabs)
1) First off, secure transportation. Preferably, transportation with shock absorption.
What Tiffany fails to mention in the video is that at that point we still had to bike back… And it was a very long trip home, let me tell you!
2) Well, there’s the dive center.
Two notes here:
– Greg can officially now say that he’s had a French tutor. Which is cool, right? The fact that his tutor was male and taught diving vice female and “l’art d’amour”…eh, less cool. He thinks that the fact that he learned to dive in French Polynesia almost makes up for it.
– If you are one of those people looking to jump the puddle, as it is called, get your dive certification in Mexico. Yes, we realize that it is expensive compared to other things in Mexico and you will tell yourself “nah, I won’t dive, I’ll just snorkel.” No you won’t. What you’ll do is snorkel by yourself and be terrified of all the sharks swimming around you while you’re all alone and all your friends are off diving. Remember the part where they school? Like fish? (ask Greg how he knows this!)
Then all your friends will gang up on you and convince you that paying the exorbitant prices for a private French diving instructor is actually very chique (a French word, not coincidentally, I’m sure) and is a really good idea in order for you to fully experience this “once in a lifetime diving opportunity.” They will be right and you will be a fool for not having paid half the price in Mexico to get your certification. The one consolation you will get is that the instructors in French Polynesia are really cool and they use your practice dives as opportunities to actually show you some amazing stuff. Still, it’s WAY cheaper to get your cert in Mexico.
2) The store, where we discovered that your local grocer is actually not only a national brand, but an international one:
For you east coast people, this is like running into a Publix (or in the case of our Texas friends, an H.E.B.) out here in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I mean really? Safeway? In FRENCH!? Who knew?
3) The church (which is actually pretty cool)
Click on the photo above to enlarge it. The shell chandeliers and other decorations were amazing!
(to be continued… We had way too many videos for one post!)
We’ve found a Microsoft background!
North Pass, Fakarava, Tuamotu, French Polynesia
We are here:
Which, in and of itself, is freaking awesome! However when I took this picture I had this weird sense of déjà-vu. Now I’d never been here before (duh) and I don’t remember seeing any movie that was ever filmed here and since I have a hard time remembering the name of the place while standing on it, it’s unlikely I ever googled it…but it nagged at me. This remained a mystery for some time until a while later when I was looking through my photos and happened on the Microsoft vista sample backgrounds.
This is Microsoft’s photo.
Holy cow I was living in a Microsoft windows background!! I’m still deciding if this is the most awesome thing ever or proof positive that no matter where you go, Bill Gates will find you.
The North pass is the main village of Fakarava (ooooh, look honey, a grocery store!) and they also have an ACTUAL hotel with guests and stuff. It’s attached to the dock we’re anchored off.
And the ACTUAL hotel has an ACTUAL bar, with ACTUAL drinks…and a really inventive “green” bug deterrent system.
Also, the art at the bar documents what can only be described as the Polynesian predecessor to the Jackass television show. Submitted for your approval as the ballsiest way for mankind to travel…ever:
I’ll stick with just the wind, thanks.
They also have passable (for Polynesian standards) internet in the hotel lobby and in their good, kind, warm hearted, Polynesian naiveté they offered to let us use it FOR FREE (gasp! It is unheard of!) So this is our office for the next few days:
