Fish guttin’ bikini

Enroute Avarua, Rarotonga, Cook Islands

Greg is not a big fan of traditional fishing.  Not because it hurts the fish (as my friend Paul once said “if God didn’t want us to eat animals, why are they made of meat?”), not because he doesn’t like fish (bit of a sushi freak actually, except in Mexico) but because, as Tiffany so aptly put it, “There is a reason it’s called fishing and not catching.”

Look, normal fishing is boring.  Greg needs something else to keep him occupied.  Which is why shipboard deep sea fishing is so perfect for him.  The philosophy behind fishing on a sailboat is actually rather simplistic:  take a hook, attach it to a line, drag it behind the boat while you’re transiting.  Some people don’t even bother with a rod and just go straight hand line.  Greg is completely down with this style of fishing because it actually allows us to get something else done and sometimes you get to participate in “catching” without wasting your whole day staring at a line in the water.  Only downside is that the ‘sometimes’ is not as often as one would think.

In Mexico we had some really good fishing off of the Baja Coast

And we nabbed two fish at once sailing to La Cruz 

But ever since we started sailing towards Tahiti pickings have been somewhat…slim.

For the past 3 MONTHS.

Now you can justify that pretty easily.  As we’ve established, the Pacific is a big place and it’s mostly empty.  So, logically, there aren’t very many fish out here compared to the size of the ocean and most of the fish out here aren’t just hanging around; usually they are migrating from one place to another.

All this adds up to deepwater fishing underway being a mixed bag and, to understate the fact, an extremely unreliable means of providing substance for one’s crew.

But baby when it hits, it hits big!

And that’s exactly what happened a few days sail out of Bora Bora.  In the dead middle of nowhere.

Catching a fish is a huge boost to crew morale.  A big mahi-mahi like that will provide a great fresh barbeque under the stars and they don’t get any fresher than flopping on your stern!  Now imagine how we felt when we realized we had actually stumbled into a school of them: Continue reading “Fish guttin’ bikini”

Polynesian Singing

Raiatea, Society Islands, French Polynesia

We haven’t given you many glimpses into underway life recently and our journey to Raiatea gave us an opportunity to not only do that but to also educate our Slovenian crewmember on American culture at the same time!

As for the Island itself, look, it’s French Polynesia and we ran out of new adjectives to describe the ridiculous amount of simply jaw-dropingly awesome sights this part of the world has to offer about 3 months ago.  Raiatea is unique in that it is the main port for the sailboat charter fleet in French Polynesia, so it is particularly beautiful for recreational cruisers, but we’ll let the slide show do the talking here:

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In case you didn’t know, yes, French Polynesia has a “charter fleet.”  Which, in case you’re not up on the lingo, is a pretty way of saying “boat rental dealership.”  So if sailing for a month straight doesn’t fit into your appointment calendar and jumping on a cargo ship to paradise doesn’t suit your fancy, you can still get the shipboard lifestyle by flying here and renting a boat.  We think we’ll stick to the crew thing though, all in all. Continue reading “Polynesian Singing”

Bora Bora 4th of July

Bora Bora, French Polynesia, South Pacific

What better place to spend the birth of our nation than on American Battle Fortress: South Pacific!?

The Bora Bora yacht club, owned by an American and a Frenchman, (PS – oh yes, there is a yacht club in Bora Bora and yes, we hung out there for a while and yes, we got some official stickers and finally, yes, it is as awesome as it sounds.)

Anyway, they were nice enough to throw us an “as American as we can be in French Polynesia” BBQ.

Some parts were spot on…if not a little odd for the backdrop.

Continue reading “Bora Bora 4th of July”

Spread the word and WIN!

We’ve now done over 100 entries in the new integrated video & text blog format!  Wow, there are books shorter than that!

So to celebrate we’re going to give away a free Lonely Planet book!  To get a chance to win all you have to do is help us spread the word about how to sail around the world on luxury yachts for the cost of groceriesContinue reading “Spread the word and WIN!”

Transit of TERROR 2: Rangiroa

Rangiroa, Tuamotu, French Polynesia

Oh you want the zoomed out picture?  Being as on that Google map we showed you before the scale was 1 pixel = somewhere around 500 miles or something, I don’t think it would change very much.  We’re still in the middle of the blue stuff. 😉

With about 2400 permanent inhabitants (this is a HUGE number by the way, we haven’t seen cities so populous since Nuku Hiva) being only a paltry 220 miles from Tahiti (laughable distance really) and with an airport with actual daily flights (*gasp!*) Rangiroa is the de facto capital of the Tuamotu.  Its coral reef is made up of 415 motu (islands) and it has only 2 passes in or out.  This is where our story begins:

We had gotten a little cocky about the whole “sailing though a dangerous coral reef” thing but don’t you worry, Rangiroa was kind enough to re-humble us.  Her lagoon is big: about 50 miles long and 20 miles wide.  This atoll actually has its own horizon and generates its own localized micro weather patterns.  Land’s still about 300 yards across though, so no help there.  50 miles long, 20 miles wide and a lagoon about 100 feet deep.  That’s a lot of water and there are only two skinny little passes (say about 100 yards across) in or out.  Perhaps you can see where we’re going here.

Rangiroa has a tidal current.

Those weren’t jumping fish; they were 5 foot long dolphins surfing in the standing waves.  Rangiroa is famous for them.  Also, some genius French entrepreneur (they did invent the word, after all) built a channel-side bar with an observation deck to watch the struggling boats…it’s like the nautical version of celebrity death match with dolphin cheerleaders & umbrella drinks!

A 6 – 7 knot tidal current shifts back and forth throughout the day, creating 5 foot standing waves in addition to the coral on both sides of the channel just waiting to snack on your fiberglass hull.  If you don’t know anything about tides and currents, let us give you a visual.  We watched one boat who thought that the reports of the rip tide were exaggerated and decided to just push though.  For a full hour we watched this cruising boat, at all ahead full, pedal to the metal, going though gas like a drunken sailor though vodka, transit this 300 yard long pass.  300 yards!  At sea – calm.  In the lagoon – calm.  In the pass, one little boat struggled to get in while 2.09×1013 gallons of water wanted to get out…all at once.  Oh yes, we just broke out the scientific numbering system.  The same system they use to measure the distance to other galaxies.  Do we have your attention?

“Oh but that isn’t so bad”, you say.  “Just go in while the current is pushing you into the lagoon.”  Bad idea for two reasons:

1) For the non-sailors out there, the way a rudder works is that it’s a board sticking out of the bottom of your boat that turns you by pushing against the water.  Turn the rudder, the water flowing past it hits it at an angle, which pushes the board and the boat attached to it, in a new direction.  If water isn’t flowing past the rudder, the boat won’t turn.  When a boat is in a following current (aka being pushed) in a narrow channel where the speed of the water is equal to the speed of the boat, then no water is flowing over the rudder and your half million dollar floating condo just became the world’s biggest pinball.

2) You know that desert island with the one palm tree that people get shipwrecked on in the movies?  Found it.  It’s at the end of the fast flowing channel of Rangiroa, right there in the smack dab middle of where all the really fast water lets out.

It’s cute, when the current isn’t pushing you right into it – then it’s scary!

I can speak German!

So, did you know that we can speak German?

Um, not really, but we’re HUGE fans! 🙂

I have significantly improved my German vocabulary on this trip.  I used to know all of one German word – “nein!” which means “no!”  And then we discovered in Alameda THE German restaurant in the San Francisco Bay Area  – Speisekammer (also know as Spice-en-whatsit) and then my German vocabulary grew by leaps and bounds!  Speisekammer means “pantry” and they have the most awesome vegetarian strudel (which is a pastry-like thing) and they have TO DIE FOR Macaroni and cheese (or, as the Germans call it Gratinierte Kasespatzle.  I only ever remember the spätzle part of it… So tasty, with caramelized onions, asiago and parmesan cheese…  Mmmmmm….).

So by my count, we’re up to three words – Nein, Speisekammer, and Spätzle.  Have you ever heard that traveling can expand your horizons or teach you language skills?  Well it can!  In Mexico, Tiffany’s Spanish got a lot better, and in the Tuamotu of French Polynesia, our German got a lot better!

“Wait a minute…” you’re probably asking yourselves.  “I thought French Polynesian people spoke French or Tahitian or Marquesan?  I didn’t know they spoke German too!”  And you’d be right, they don’t.  But there are tons of travelers who pass through that do!  One thing you must understand about travel: there are Germans everywhere.   Which is really cool, because Germans are the nicest freaking people you will ever meet.  Greg has literally never met a German that he did not like.  Elizabeth from our Pacific Puddle Jump buddy boat PROXIMITY is German, and at one point we had 4 boats headed toward the same island, all within about a day or so of each other and on every boat at least one person spoke German!  How crazy is that?

We had BOREE, STERNCHEN, PAIKEA MIST and us on FLY AWEIGH.  Burt and Ingie on BOREE are Germans who have been living in Australia for a number of years, the owners of STERNCHEN (which means “little star” – ha! Another one!) are Germans who speak some English, Michael on PAIKEA MIST is a German-Canadian, and Allan on FLY AWEIGH took classes for his degree in Germany.  At one point, STERNCHEN called BOREE on the VHF radio to ask for some technical assistance, and I learned new German!  We heard them call on the VHF radio to switch channels to “acht” (which means “eight”) and followed them over to channel eight, so Allan could listen in and keep up with his German and his long standing underway technical assistance skills 🙂

While we were listening, I learned 2 new German words – “computer” and “easy-peasy”.  Now, you may be saying to yourself, “hey, those aren’t German!”  But I counter – if you walked up to four Germans having a conversation in German, then the words they use MUST be German! Ha!

We have now over doubled our German vocabulary!  Sternchen, Acht, Computer and Easy-Peasy!

Once we all got into port we actually got to meet the crews of BOREE and STERNCHEN and spend some time with them.  We had some wonderful conversations.  Greg is a huge fan of the German language, he just loves the way it sounds.  (Greg – Actually, I believe my EXACT words were “someone discovered the sound of awesome and just decided to make an entire language out of it!”)    Greg was such a big fan that Ingie even gave him REAL German Bread!

You do not appreciate how awesome this is.  First off, it’s hot as heck here (80 F is the average temp) and no one has air-conditioning.  She turned on her gas stove in her boat and heated the whole thing up, for several hours mind you, to make us bread.

Also, do you understand that we are 6,435 kilometers, oh sorry, 4,000+ miles *flying!* from Spice-en-whatsit!  9,655 miles flying from Germany!  Need I remind you that those flights don’t even exist, so add in mileage for stops in Tahiti and Hong Kong.  Do you know how much a flight like that would cost!?  And. We. Have. FRESH German bread.

Do you have fresh, hand-baked German Bread right now?  No, no you do not…and ours will be eaten before you get here so don’t try it.

During our discussions, we got to talking about the happy birthday song, and how the Germans don’t really sing happy birthday.  Here’s why:

Which lead to Burt telling us about how Germans like to smash words together to make new words.  His example:  the soccer world cup.  In German it’s one word: Fußball-Weltmeisterschaft.

So awesome…

How many languages can you speak?

Oh PS: Greg can curse in German too.  Who says you don’t learn useful skills in the Boy Scouts? 😉

And you thought the other village was small…

Toau, Tuamotu, French Polynesia

We arrived in Toau to find two really nice guys in an outboard who guided us into the 10 boat anchorage they had set up near the “village.”

Why is “village” in quotations?

Just wait for it.

After helping us get anchored the nice guys invited us over for dinner that evening.  It’s a pretty common practice for the locals to prepare dinner for cruisers for a price and then “invite” you to dinner.  Remember in Fatu Hiva where the terms “restaurant” and “living room” were synonymous?  Yeah, pretty normal and to be fair, they take good care of you:

Those would be fresh lobsters.  Paired with baguette and fresh fried parrot fish and by “fresh” I mean the two guys who guided us in?  They are also the fishermen; brought the fish in that afternoon and cooked them up alongside one of their wives.  Same with the lobsters.

Also, they have a dog

Cute little guy, kinda scraggly.  Not really worth noting until…hey wait a second…how the heck did a dog get way out here?!  It’s not like he evolved from the freaking fish!  Did you ship him in?  How much would that cost?  Is he some sorta descendent from dogs brought over by Capt. Cook?  Seriously, where did you get a dog!?  (see, like I said, sometimes it’s the little things that make you remember where you are).

We had a great time at dinner and then the 2 nice guys and the lady invited us to come to church tomorrow.  Well, we’ve all heard legends of the Polynesian church singing and it’s also when the whole “village” would typically turn out, what a great opportunity to meet people!  …and truthfully, it’s been a while since we were able to get to an actual church, so heck why not?

Here’s the church:

And here’s what the service was like:

Not exactly what we were expecting.  Ok, so all the white people?  Sailors.  That leaves the lady at the front and the two men in the seats…

…noticing a trend here?

You know that joke where the town’s so small that the mayor is the sectary while moonlighting as the pastor and city garbage collector?

Yeah, that’s here.

Greg played bocce ball with the two guys on the beach with their bocce set.  Won one game, lost the other.  In other words, he beat half the bocce ball playing population of this island in one go.

…Hey wait, where the heck did they get a bocce ball set?!

Needles, Haystacks and Islands

Toau, Tuamotu, French Polynesia

When we look at those words up there and realize that we could be putting those letters together at random for all the good it does describing our location to you.  We can tell you exactly where we are and at the same time tell you nothing at all.  We’re working on getting a map up.  Here, we’ll give you a little orientation.  How about a satellite photograph of the atoll:

That help?  Still no, huh?  Let’s zoom out a bit:

Just in case you didn’t know, the blue stuff is water.  We would like to point out that if you put the entire landmass of our planet into this one ocean, there would be STILL be room for a second Africa, give or take.   Like we said, the scale of things out here is massive.  “Needle in a haystack”?  From now on we’ll be saying “it’s like trying to find an island in the Pacific.”  People live on them.  Granted, not a lot of people, but still.

And yet, here we are.  It’s amazing that these places are REAL.  There are places on the map that almost no one has ever heard of and these places are actually a lot closer than most of us realize… yet drastically separated by water, language, culture and a lack of regular air transport (you saw the major / only airport of the area).  Coming from the States, it’s actually easier, cheaper and WAY faster to get to Sydney, which is still several thousand miles from us, than to get to this little atoll.  The Pacific islands are weird that way.

The fact that you are way off in the middle of nowhere is always right there, right in your face.  You get used to over time and you stop thinking about it.  It’s amusing to think back on how we called Nuku Hiva “the big city” but it is the largest settlement we’ve encountered since leaving Mexico a few months ago.  It wouldn’t even count as a village in the San Francisco Bay.

Greg has long been a proponent of the philosophy that humans can normalize just about anything, along as they are exposed to it enough.  Isolation is the status quo out here, after all.  Polynesians don’t wander around in a state of shock at their removal from the regular world; to them, this is the regular world.  Over time, it becomes regular to us as well and we stop thinking about the fact that there are places in the world where it takes more than 20 minutes to walk from one coast to another.  Then something little makes you think of it, like zooming out on the navigation computer while planning a route.  Then it all comes rushing back, “Holy heck we’re over 1000 miles from the nearest continent!”  It actually scares you a little bit as you think to yourself “how the heck did we get here on a sailboat!?”

But you’ll have a hard time beating the views.

Or the sea life.

Thanks to the Fakarava hotel band for the music.

Sailing, Snacks and Garbage

Underway, transiting in the Tuamotu, French Polynesia

So we left the natural splendor of Fakarava and headed over to Toau, which was a day’s trip away, and also finally got some video of the mouth-wateringly delectable pamplemousse.

For a little over the past month now we have pretty much sustained ourselves on French baguettes and Polynesian grapefruit.  Greg will only feel deprived by the situation when this is no longer possible.  Tiffany is already dreading the day… 🙂

Also, many of you ask what happens to trash when you’re at sea.  Here’s what everyone does:

Shocking, isn’t it?  What’s nuts is that this is the norm for all ships, commercial and recreational, the world over.  Greg remembers the first time he saw trash going overboard.  It was his first cruise on a Coast Guard ship and they just tossed bags of garbage over the side while at sea.  He was dumbstruck until another sailor explained it all.  There is some logic to it.  You may not agree with the logic, but at least now you’ll understand it.  Since all the popular exposure we’re aware of is primarily focused on tossing garbage overboard as a bad thing, here we’ll take the role of explaining it.  As for our own opinions, we’ll give it to you at the end.

First off, there isn’t anywhere to really put garbage on a boat long term that is sanitary for the crew.  Also you’d have to deal with the smell, the bugs, attracting rodents in port, leaking etc.  Now there are some cruisers that “pack their trash out” by only throwing out garbage when they get to port but we will look into that idea in a minute.  Also, these cruisers are typically shorter range cruisers who will pull into an established port with garbage facilities once a week.  In Polynesia, most of the locals literally burn their trash (including plastics) because they, like us, have nowhere to put it.

As long as what you throw overboard is bio-degradable, the sea does a heck of a faster job breaking it down than anything on land.  Also, you’re not allowed to throw stuff within miles of land, so likely you’re tossing the biodegradable trash into the 80% of the ocean that is barren desert (except for the salt water).  That’s why we had so many cans in the video; we hadn’t been far enough from shore while inside Fakarava’s lagoon.   To get an idea of what is legally allowed to be tossed over where, here is a handy diagram from Greg’s Coast Guard boarding officer days (yes, we are currently talking about maritime law enforcement, don’t mind Greg while he geeks out, hey maybe you’ll learn something!)

Note the one thing you are never allowed to throw overboard: Plastic.  Plastic never degrades.  Sailors do their best to avoid having it onboard because they can’t throw it overboard, ever.  When they do use plastic they store it.  Plastic is a major problem for the ocean and is the primary focus of the whole “Pacific Garbage Patch” dilemma.

Finally, stuff falls into the sea all the time, especially organic waste.  Whales poop in the ocean – about 3% of their total body mass each day – and they live for a while, you do the math.  So do birds and basically every other creature, at some point or another, has had their fecal matter mixed in with the ocean.  Animals die in the ocean and their rotting carcasses often sink.  Also, many coastal cities use the sea as a garbage site (surprise!).  A couple of decades ago the US government was using the waters off the Farallon Islands (near San Francisco) as a radioactive dumping ground.  Once they figured out it made the sharks glow though, they cut that out.

Here’s the scary truth.  Live by the coast?  Throw stuff away?  Then it probably ends up in the sea.  Where else is it going to go?  Sailors are just a little more direct about the process.  If an apple gets tossed into the water, is it littering?  Ok, so how about a cardboard box that becomes waterlogged and decomposes before your eyes?  See, slippery slope.

By the way, anyone want to go swimming?

On the one hand is the unrealistic goal of a perfect world that no one can live (or poop) in and on the other is an ocean so polluted that the plastic outnumbers the plant life (which, by the way, is apparently true right now in some places of the Pacific.)  Ultimately, like everything else, it’s a balancing act that we all have to agree on and do.  Right after we finish up that world peace bit.

It worries me that one day God is going to show up and ask us to explain why we broke his planet.

Where do we stand?  Hard question.  As crew, we don’t really have a choice in the matter because as long as our Captain is obeying the law, we really can’t stop them.  It’s easy to be hard-over against dumping anything.  Garbage is bad!  However, all creatures create waste, it’s part of living.  Yes, humans create more.  Anyone here willing go without their spaghetti sauce?  How about your car?   Seeing both sides of the issue, actually living with the logistics and having had both sides impact our lives, we would have to say that we agree some things can be tossed overboard as long as we know we aren’t significantly impacting the environment in the area.  Right… now define “significant impact”…  We could go on…

But not with plastic.  Plastic kills baby turtles and that makes Jesus sad.

What’s your opinion about what is ok and not ok to throw overboard?

Polynesian island TSA

Fakarava, Tuamotu, French Polynesia

(…cont from previous post)

4) The pearl farm.  This is the big business of the Tuamotu islands.  Most of the “Tahitian pearls” people buy the world over are actually from the Tuamotu.  You expect, with the price of pearls and all, for it to be some big production.  Vaulted ceilings, caviar, some champagne perhaps?  Classical music on the sound system?  Heck, air conditioning?  Nope.  A shack, 4 guys, couple of planks of wood, some oysters and hell’s dentist’s office.  To be fair, what the industry lacks ostentation, it make up for in patience:

If you’re a pearl fan at all (or at least have an appreciation for the fact that pearl necklaces are not cheap), check this out:

They leave bags of this stuff lying around.  Open plastic bags chock full of Tahitian black pearls casually placed, completely unprotected, near open windows without even a screen to keep bugs out, much less people.  Crime is not a huge concern here.  With a population of about 1500 people it’s not like you don’t know you’re neighbor.

Oh wait, you say, perhaps a tourist could steal the pearls and sneak off the island?  Not likely, as the only means of escape are rather…limited…in scope:

5) The airport

This airport has 1 flight per day, normally.  Saturdays are the big day with a total of 2 flights.  Most of the time the airfield is completely abandoned and totally wide open.  You can just wander on in, no restricted areas here.  At about an hour before the flight is supposed to arrive, a fire truck rolls in, soon followed by an unguarded fuel truck, ticketing agent and 2 baggage handlers.  That’s it.  No cops, no TSA, no security check points, no body scanners.  Heck, no boarding areas.  The gate agent?  After the ticketing agent finishes selling tickets, they become the gate agent.  Well, they become the stairway agent actually, because why would you need a gate for the one plane landing here today?  There are some cops on the island (Gendarme, kinda like French colonial police) but they don’t show up for the flights.  People get on, people get off.  The plane grabs some gas and off it goes.  The fire and gas trucks leave, soon followed by the airport’s massive 3 staff people.    I think sometimes an extra car shows up to act like a taxi and sometimes the hotel will send a shuttle.  Whole process takes about 2 hours.  It’s all very anti-climatic.

We should point out that this island is the second largest in the entire 78 island Tuamotu chain.  The second largest.    Which is weirder, the nonchalant manner in which this airport operates or our American reaction to it?

6) And finally, let’s not forget the aforementioned bar:

You sailed from Mexico to French Polynesia for a margarita?  You came all this way, on a boat, powered by wind, at about 7 MPH average speed, for at this point about 2 months of travelling, all this way to pay $15 for drink you could have gotten for 5 pesos back about 3,000+ miles ago?  Really?

Cripes at least buy a Mai Tai or something…