Kiwi Killers

Helensville, NZ

There is an invading force that is, right now as we write this, entrenched in the sovereign territory of New Zealand.

Estimates vary widely but everyone seems to think there are AT LEAST seven invaders for every man, woman and child of this nation.  Yes, that would be a force 30 million strong and growing by the day.

Not happy to simply live here in a land known for its beauty and kind hearted peoples, these soulless devils are pillaging the land and actually killing the natives in their own homes.  Likely, at this very moment a mother is watching powerlessly as her innocent offspring is ruthlessly murdered by this merciless horde.

We are speaking, of course, of possums.  Evil, dirty, disease-ridden, kiwi-killing possums.

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Only one thing smells like bacon and that’s BACON!!!

Helensville, NZ

In case you hadn’t noticed yet, we LOVE Bacon!!

We know, you probably never would have guessed that we were vegetarians for 4 years because we talk about bacon so much.  But bacon is just one of those things that you must make an exception for (ok, and sushi…and BACON SUSHI Crispy, salty, greasy yumminess  – that’s what it’s all about!  All Americans understand what bacon is, even though we tend to have some differences in our personal preferences.  Most people like the straight up, traditional bacon – thinly sliced strips of smoked pig with a roughly 50/50 ratio of fat to meat.  Some people like it extra crispy, some like it almost raw.  Now, there are some variations on this theme – apple wood smoked, thick sliced, turkey bacon, vegetarian bacon – you name it, we’ve got It.  Or so we thought.

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Taking the Long Way Around

Tiffany:

So it’s that time again for Greg to take the mic for his birthday message:

 

Greg:

2 years ago today I wrote you  from a remote island in the middle of French Polynesia in between diving lessons.

Last year my birthday found us still in the Pacific, but at least now having sailed on to a different island and learning to surf.

Even now both Tiffany and I find ourselves looking at maps of the world attempting to wrap our minds around some of the things we’ve done.  Did we really sail to Tahiti?  Did I actually have a role in sci-fi movie?  Have we really created almost 200 integrated video blog posts?  Seriously, we managed to find wine made from bananas?  We can play Jingle Bells on the ukulele?  And did it took us 20 minutes of bashing a coconut before we realized the machete was dull?

Did I actually convince my wife that creating from scratch and wearing a genuine coconut bikini was:

1) Something worth doing and

2) Important to document videographically?

This picture encapsulates awesome.

Odd as it sounds, even to us now, the answer to those questions and so many other amazing adventures is “Yes.”

As we’ve told a few of you the good news is that we are now and at this very moment on our way home.

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Living in Rural New Zealand

Helensville, New Zealand

As we’ve previously noticed, the lines between rural and urban New Zealand are quite blurred.  Sheep can be found in the middle of their largest city, and when we tell New Zealanders that we lived in Helensville for a few weeks they said,

“Oh, that’s in Auckland”.

Which it’s not.  It’s about an hour drive north of Auckland into the boonies.  Helensville is a small town (by American standards) complete with a large showground for showing off their various equestrian and agricultural skills.  (Ok, we admit that San Francisco has the Cow Palace, but let me tell you it’s not the same thing.)  When you see people riding their horses FROM THEIR FARM and your water supply comes from the rain on your roof, then there’s just no way that you can consider it to be urban. Continue reading “Living in Rural New Zealand”

Then We Got Audited…

Helensville, NZ

With Greg’s mom’s departure came the next phase of our adventure.  And, like every other part of this journey, it was not what we expected.

This time was different though because the surprise was not a good one.  What this entry should have been about were the chronicles of us finding and holding a job in New Zealand for a few months, meeting Kiwis and basically enjoying ourselves.

What the next few months ended up being about for us was getting audited by the IRS.

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Storming the Hedges

Dunedin, NZ

The Kiwi Roadtrip continues!

At long last we finally come to it.  Our grail, our Mecca, our El Dorado, our own little land of Canaan in New Zealand, if you will. (yeah, we’re still reading the Bible.)

The culmination of our quest, the living beating heart of our journey (well this part anyway), the Vegas of our Great Kiwi Roadtrip…

 

Castle Kiwi

(Aka Larnach Castle)

There remained but one final obstacle to overcome, one last trial to endure before the castle would indeed be ours as the very land itself conspired to bar our path… Continue reading “Storming the Hedges”

NZ North Island Grog Files

New Zealand – North Island

Soft Drinks

L & P

Type: Soft Drink

Rating: 3 sheets to the wind

Website: http://www.cokecareers.co.nz/products
(yeah, Coke bought ‘em.  That’s globozation for ya.)

Notes: It would be wrong to have a page about the drinks of New Zealand and not mention Lemon & Paeroa.  It’s the New Zealand soft drink and we’re really not sure why it hasn’t become a world-wide sensation!  Like you’ll see in other places on this page, New Zealand does not save their best efforts for “the good stuff” because even their widely distributed common drinks are just excellent.  Continue reading “NZ North Island Grog Files”

Where the Scots ended up

Dunedin, NZ

Often when writing a blog entry we look back on the last few articles in order to remind ourselves where we left off.  This time we reviewed the road trip video and, well, frankly… Wow, that was a terrible resolution.  Not to mention a terribly long video.  Since we are writing these trip entries for ourselves as much as you all and since there is no way we’re going to leave that on the site we redid the road trip.  Each entry from then until now just got a new and different 1 minute clip of our adventures driving down the coast.  Because road trips are all about the little things like cows stopping traffic and “ocean golf.”  So if you wanted to see all the little things like Tiffany dancing in a kiwi hat and Greg’s adventures with roundabouts, that’s where they are.

The Kiwi road trip continues!

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Silly Kiwis

On the Road, NZ

We sometimes think that travel does, in fact, broaden one’s horizons.  Gives perspective, understanding if you will, of persons individually and peoples as a whole.

For example, we now understand that, as a people, Kiwis are pretty dang witty.

the cure for veganism is baconBillboard ad in Auckland – dude, true that.

As we wander down the length of this great country we should take a moment, if only a moment, to admire the brilliance of the Kiwi advertising agencies…

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Yeah, That Mount DOOM!

Mt. DOOM, New Zealand

20101212-NZ-road-trip-w-Ronni-27 - mount doom

(oh yes, there.  Right freaking there!  Life Achievement unlocked: Entered Mordor!!!)

The Great Kiwi Roadtrip continues!!

When you tell your friends back home that you’re in New Zealand, there is one reaction you’re almost sure to receive (especially if said friends are big fans of Science Fiction movies and some are actually known to posses the one ring) and question is, “Are you going to Hobbiton?”

Continue reading “Yeah, That Mount DOOM!”