Tiffany and Greg Around the World
From Tortoise orgies to custom made giraffe barns, the Great Kiwi Roadtrip makes it’s way to the Auckland Zoo!
One of the things that we absolutely had to see in New Zealand was an actual live kiwi
(Finally: the bird, not to be confused with the people by the same name)
Being as we were road tripping the length of the country these birds call home, we thought this was going to be relatively easy. Turns out that it’s not…
Continue reading “Kiwis (The birds, not the people)”
The Kiwi Roadtrip continues!
At long last we finally come to it. Our grail, our Mecca, our El Dorado, our own little land of Canaan in New Zealand, if you will. (yeah, we’re still reading the Bible.)
The culmination of our quest, the living beating heart of our journey (well this part anyway), the Vegas of our Great Kiwi Roadtrip…
(Aka Larnach Castle)
There remained but one final obstacle to overcome, one last trial to endure before the castle would indeed be ours as the very land itself conspired to bar our path… Continue reading “Storming the Hedges”
New Zealand – North Island
Type: Soft Drink
Rating: 3 sheets to the wind
Website: http://www.cokecareers.co.nz/products
(yeah, Coke bought ‘em. That’s globozation for ya.)
Notes: It would be wrong to have a page about the drinks of New Zealand and not mention Lemon & Paeroa. It’s the New Zealand soft drink and we’re really not sure why it hasn’t become a world-wide sensation! Like you’ll see in other places on this page, New Zealand does not save their best efforts for “the good stuff” because even their widely distributed common drinks are just excellent. Continue reading “NZ North Island Grog Files”
Bora Bora, Society Islands, French Polynesia
Well, welcome to the only other island out here that you’ve probably ever actually heard of! Just because, again, we know that you’re wondering, Bora Bora is right here:
Did you know that long before Bora Bora was known as the honeymoon capital of the world its first role in the international community was to serve as Battle Fortress: South Pacific?!? Totally serious here! Due to Bora Bora’s strategic position half way between the Americas and Australia and its uniquely defensible geography, the island was chosen by the United States to be a resupply base during WW II. What do we mean by “uniquely defensible geography”? Simple, look:
Continue reading “Battle Fortress: South Pacific”
Moorea, Society Islands, French Polynesia
Most of the guidebooks about Moorea will at least mention feeding the sting rays.
Typically, you would need to rent a boat or hire a tour guide to go do this but since our old friends on FLY AWEIGH pulled into port a few days ago they offered to give us all a lift out to the reef.
We expected to see some rays at a distance and toss them a few fish. The rays had other plans and were happy to educate us on how this whole thing actually worked. Continue reading “Feeding the Wildlife”
Papeete, Tahiti, Society Islands, French Polynesia
We have established that Papeete is a city of contrasts. A land where, quite literally, dogs and cats are living together.
One of the most striking personifications of this is the harbor.
Now on our journey through the islands of French Polynesia so far we have navigated everything from rock minefields that will spear your hull like a ripe mango to rip currents that turn your boat into a bumper bowling ball with coral reefs and desert islands playing the part of the bumpers. So we had a pretty solid feeling that, with enough preparation, we could handle just about anything this island could throw at us.
Which is of course why, in Tahiti, it’s not the island that will sink your boat. That would be too easy. The reef limits how big the protected shipping channel is but what room they have is clear from natural obstructions. See, Tahiti is a developed port. In fact it’s the only developed port in this entire county. Which means that everything, and we do mean everything, not to mention just about every one, that goes anywhere in French Polynesia comes through Papeete first. And while this town is ridiculously huge by island standards, London-sized it ain’t. Lots of people, lots of stuff, all trying to get somewhere at the same time in a small city. So while the environment has been beaten back for your navigational well-being, it’s everything else sharing your space in this very confined, busy harbor that makes life interesting. Let us elaborate: Continue reading “Mind the Jetwash”
Papeete, Tahiti, Society Islands, French Polynesia
(cont’d from previous)
Then there is the whole nudity / sexuality thing here in French Polynesia. Which, why put sex and religion in the same blog post? Because here one isn’t exclusive of the other and that’s a good thing. In America, sex seems to be at odds with the institution of God. It’s not like the French are “modest” in that respect to start with when compared to Americans but when the European explorers landed on the Polynesian islands the natives would willingly give their women over to the sailors for sex. It was considered the polite thing to do! Hippies had no concept of “free love” compared to the Polynesians. (In retrospect, considering the syphilis that decimated their population, not the best move.) Well, a few centuries and a great deal of western Christian influence later, the Polynesian people aren’t quite as promiscuous as before but they are in their younger years still rather “open to exploration.” Interesting to note that, according to what we learned talking to the local French and reading travel guides, if a young island girl gets pregnant, her entire family simply raises the child as its own. Our guess is that when your population is decimated down to the 2% level, not to mention you are adamant pro-Catholic, your cultural views on abortion change. Right along with your views on familial responsibility to the next generation.
…and their tolerance for nudity, and for referencing the naked human body, is a good deal higher than your typical American. You all probably remember the most awesome name for a bay, ever. While in Papeete we bought a ukulele playbook from a newsstand and right there on the cover was a topless woman. Also, Tiffany was looking at a book on wearing sarongs and this is what she saw (blacked out areas explained below)
Papeete, Tahiti, Society Islands, French Polynesia
We Americans are such prudes.
No, seriously we are. We’ve heard it before and really, it’s true. Puritan roots = massive prudes. You really aren’t able to appreciate the level of our prudishness until you live in another culture that is more open in their beliefs on sexuality while at the same time more strict in their interpretation of religion. The fact that this is not an oxymoron is in and of itself rather eye-opening for an American. Yes boys and girls, you can have lots of sex and still love Jesus. This is not a message that modern American Christianity has effectively distributed to the masses. To be fair, it’s hard to blame them. The Christians that is, a.k.a. “us” being as we’re on that particular team. The mass media has taken the position of “free sex with whoever you want whenever you want” so when Christianity opposes that they get cast as the people who are against sex. It isn’t true, but that’s how it’s played in the States. I think we’d get a lot more traction stressing all the awesome sex you can have as a married member of the church than just focusing on the stuff people can’t do. As an organization, we have really gone on the defensive on this particular front, letting our opponents pick the battles and cast us in the “bad guy” light and really, it hasn’t gotten us anywhere. Pretty sure we’ve actually lost a bit of ground with this strategy.
In fact, many Christian religions would really like it if their people had more sex, since we’re kind of dying off right now. It’s a numbers game people and we’re losing. Continue reading “Sex and Jesus”
Papeete, Tahiti, Society Islands, French Polynesia
As previously mentioned, music is a major part of these peoples’ lives.
Outside the market and along the main drag of the city is a bank that more importantly serves as the unofficial gathering place for the Papeete street band. Guitars, ukuleles, a guy with a plastic garbage can bass and a bottle cap maracas. We already knew Polynesians had a knack for musical adaptation and the Tahitians did not disappoint. This informal gathering of street performers have been playing daily long enough to be in most of the tourist and travel books as a recommended destination. They’re really that good.
Listening to these guys inspired us to learn more about their version of the ukulele. As we mentioned before in our virtual ukulele Christmas card there are 2 kinds of ukulele: the Hawaiian and the Tahitian.
The ukulele Greg carries around is the “tiny guitar” that most Americans think of when they picture island music. It is thicker and produces a lower note. Most Polynesians refer to it as a “Kamika” due to the fact that a popular brand of Hawaiian ukulele is made by that brand. It’s like calling a cotton ear swab a “Q-tip.”
While in Tahiti we picked up a Tahitian ukulele for Tiffany. This ukulele is longer than the Hawaiian and much thinner. It is made out of solid wood and though both have 4 stringed notes and both are tuned to the same notes, Continue reading “Ukulele 101”
Papeete, Tahiti, Society Islands, French Polynesia
We’re going to tackle the rest of this town in three parts: food, music and sexuality/spirituality.
Let’s start with food. Because really, that last one will probably have you checking back at least to see what we have to say.
The center of Papeete is the 2 story market. The bottom floor is occupied by fresh fish and produce booths, while the top floor & outside block are comprised of souvenir shops. Though we rarely like touristy stuff, we thought it was neat that this place puts locals and visitors into the same place.
Remember when we thought we had ordered French fries in our sandwich by mistake? Turns out the reason the server didn’t think it was odd is Continue reading “Haven’t had a pig roast yet…”
